How Can You Be Happy?

Not Everyone is Born with a Happy Disposition.

Some of us have low self-esteem, struggle with anxiety, and no matter what anyone says, it’s hard to feel worthy of love.

Your beliefs of not-enoughness won’t really go away on their own. You have to make a choice. I want you to make that choice today.

You have to look for ways to be happy.

But, before you do that, I want you to grab a bite to eat and drink some clean water. You’d be surprised at how much anxiety is felt from being undernourished or dehydrated. So, when you sit down to eat and drink today, take a moment to be grateful for the food you are about to receive.

Gratitude goes a long way; express it today.

Start now. Write out a list of 10 things that make you feel grateful. You are alive!

That’s a pretty good start.

Listen, you’re going to have to really let go of the past if you want to experience real happiness.

Say “I Forgive You.”

Those three words will change your life. Say them to the mental images you’ve been holding on to. Say those three words to yourself.

Be free. Be here. Be present and willing in your life today.

Negative thoughts are going to happen.

You don’t have to wallow in them or fight them.

Simple mindful breathing will help you detach from the negative mental loops that bring your energy down.

Please detach from your negative mind loops today. Be free. Be here.

Think of an activity that you always seem to enjoy doing and do that today.

If you can’t do it today then, fit it in as soon as possible. Matter of fact, make a list of fun things. Put that list in plain sight and create your schedule around it.

Happiness comes from being immersed in activities that are meaningful to you.

photo by Tonya Brill

photo by Tonya Brill

When I say meaningful it doesn’t have to involve saving the planet. You’re allowed to be selfish from time to time. I’m going to spend most of my on a Stand Up Paddle Board; it brings me focus, and is the perfect metaphor of how to deal with life.

Each day on the water is unique. You adjust to the conditions, look for opportunities (water moving towards your destination) and maintain your balance. You focus only briefly on your target and mostly on the water just in front of the tip of your board.

When you connect and are in rhythm with the water everything happens almost effortlessly. Your muscles never seem to tire. Your smile never seems to fade.

See if you can deep a relationship today.

We are social primates. Part of the way we learn and a lot of the way we feel is intertwined with other people. Share a meal, a hug or maybe even a kiss with someone today.

We’re only on this little planet for a short time, and if you’re anything like me you’ve already spent far too much of it frustrated and alone.

How Can You Be Happy Today?


 

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WE LOVE YOU TOO!

Please watch the above video.

I really do wish we didn’t have countries.

I think we’ve come to a point in history that we can be ONE TRIBE.

Human Kind.

We have some work to do to get this place in order.

There are 7Billion and counting of us here, we need to innovate to sustain this.  We need love to heal it.  We need to stop fighting.

My message to the ENTIRE WORLD! 

Hi, I’m Tim

I was born in Southeastern Ohio, USA.  I am an American.

My sense of Geography is terrible, almost as bad as my knowledge of History or Politics.  I only speak one language American English, and to be perfectly honest not all that well.

I see what the Government of the United States has done, and continues to do on a regular basis.

PLEASE KNOW:

They do not speak for me.  They do not make decisions in my interests at all, here or abroad.

I do not want people killed or bombs dropped.  I believe in LOVE.

Although I don’t actually know YOU….>I LOVE YOU.

I love you because you’re here on this planet and part of the Human Race.

 

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7 HABITS THAT HURT ME, AND 7 HABITS THAT BRING ME JOY

“Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits. Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny.”  Gandhi

The past couple of weeks I’ve been pretty quite, both online and in my real life.

I have spent my time reviewing my past couple of years and I have acknowledged my habits.

I have some bad habits.

My desire to market my talents as a writer triggered in me a sense of “need”.  As a result my habits have changed dramatically, and I’ve discovered _____habits that no longer serve me.

1. I turn on my laptop within seconds of waking up.

Everything I do involves this piece of equipment; writing, recording the audio version of the book, networking, marketing, etc.  It’s easy for me to want to log into cyberspace and get this thing going.

2. I eat while in front of a screen.

Last night, as I finished my last bite of food I realized it has been over 2 months since I’ve sat and practiced mindful eating.  I have been multitasking while eating far too often.

3. I work non-stop.

Since long before I launched “It’s All About Me! A Soul Surfer’s Guide to Happiness through the Mastery of Self” I have worked from the moment I woke to the moment I went to sleep.  If I’m not working, I’m contemplating my next move.  I know better than to do it, but that didn’t stop me!

4. I talk way too much.

This one has been a bad habit of mine all of my life.  In relation to my goal of becoming a best selling author, I really do need to learn to keep my mouth shut.  When my actions don’t produce my desired results I’m fine with it, but I can tell that some people in my life have lost faith in my vision.

I’ve learned it’s best to speak very little of my plans, and only speak of the results of my actions when asked.  I’ll have to form that habit as I go.  I get so excited I want to share my life with the people who are important to me.

I forget that my success will actually mean that I will spend less and less time with those very people.

5. I define myself.

I just had a talk with my best friend. Our relationship started out with me as her “coach” and over the years blossomed into a deep, loving friendship.  I asked her to help me define the work I do by the results in her life.

She responded “You teach people to cultivate a deeper sense of love for themselves and the world around them.  Today I have a sense of peace, calm and acceptance that makes me see beauty in each moment, no matter what happens around me.”

All this year I was defining myself as some guy who helps people set and achieve goals.  ooopppss….

6. I count my failures.

I still tend bar a few nights a week. I allow myself to get frustrated too often.  My money management skills need fine tuning. I could really go on and on here, and in my mind I a list of failures plays on and on.  It’s such a subtle voice that berates me, that I often overlook it.

7. I eat like crap and I don’t drink enough water!

Hydration and nutrition are by far the most important and most overlooked aspects of life.

I’m sure if I think about it, I can discover more bad habits that are not in line with my values; but I prefer to move forward in life.  Those are habits of yesterday.

I wrote down a list of habits I am incorporating into my life (again).

1. Enjoy the feeling of waking up in the morning.

Today I woke up feeling completely “In Love”.  I looked at the space on the bed next to me that “She” will one day fill and I smiled at the thought of her.  I stretched and breathed.  I practiced mindful walking.  I walked to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.  I sipped it; felt it’s warmth and enjoyed it’s aroma.  I spent about 20 minutes just breathing in life, enjoying love and listening to silence.

2. I drink water and eat nutritiously rich foods.

I filled up a 1/2 gallon jug of filtered water and I’ve drank half of it so far today.  When I finish typing these words I’ll go cut up a mango, make some oats and throw in some blueberries and nuts to the my breakfast.

3. I will remain in Love today.

I am scheduled to tend bar today.  Sometimes when I work, I allow frustration to manifest into my actions.

4. I will accept the moment as it is, and will not define how I would prefer it to be.

Acceptance is really the key to a blissful life.  I vow today to enjoy as many moments as I possibly can.

5. I will be mindful of my breath.

If we get a rush of people coming in the door the tension level of the staff increases.  I have been learning to practice certain breathing techniques to allow me to remain in a state of love, which helps me control my snappiness.

6. I will see my successes both past and present.

After I eat I will write a list of great moments, great triumphs and great contributions by Tim McAuley.  One of my accomplishments is so fulfilling that each time I remind myself of it, I realize that I have nothing else I “NEED” to do.  All the rest of my actions are because I can and I’m here.

7.  I will hug at least 8 people today!

This one is key!  I find it more difficult to become frustrated if I’ve been embraced several times throughout the day.  Science backs up that statement.

 

 

 

 

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BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF IS NOT COLD HEARTED

For some reason I feel compelled to turn this one into a post on this website.  I just opened my email and read this message from one of my weekly Newsletter Readers.

Can you give me any helpful hints to help someone understand that ‘It’s all about ME’ and NOT about them?  I am growing very frustrated trying to convince a couple men in my life that they have done NOTHING to upset me.  I am able to see how the old line “it’s not you, it’s me” is never taken correctly..and I can empathize with that feeling of rejection, but I cannot find the right words to make them understand it.  Is there ever an easy way to break someone’s heart without being cold and harsh? I just feel like I am being mean..and I don’t like the way I look in the mirror knowing I have hurt someone..

I can give no helpful hints to help someone understand anything at all.

The old adage “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force him to drink.” comes to my mind each time an email begins this way.

I can however offer this:

Stop trying to convince anyone of anything.

I know sometimes it’s difficult when someone gets attached to the idea of being in your life, yet you’re just not in a head space to be with them.  I’ve been on both sides of that equation.

It hurts to think that you’ve been rejected, and nothing can change that.

Technically it’s a combo “Me” and “You”

I have a list a qualities of the woman with whom I want to spend my time romantically.  I know when I am in the presence of such a woman.  My whole body makes me very aware of her.

So, when you’re “just not feeling it” then it is actually “All About We”.

In your mind there is no “We” in their mind “We” should Be.

It’s easy for someone to misunderstand that statement only because it’s partially correct when they feel that it is them.

Although they’ve done nothing to upset you, the simple fact of the matter is you’ve decided they are not the “Person of your dreams”.

You’re not in control of how people feel.

My heart was broken once, maybe even twice.  Then I began to realize that the source of my Love was inward, and did not in fact come from the other person.

When my last relationship came to an end, I felt disappointed.  I really thought she and I would marry and spend the remainder of our lives together.

I came back to the US, and she moved on to her next relationship.  But, my heart remained in tact.  It never broke, because I am emotionally mature enough to not feel rejection or dejected.

Be true to Yourself.

When you learn to connect with your inner source of Love some people will be triggered to feel rejected.  You can’t spend time explaining anything to them.

It may seem cold and harsh to you, but it’s the ultimate form of Love to “Be True to Yourself.

You do you.  Let them do them.  Send them back out into the world with love in your heart.

What can you learn from this.

You already know that I believe that we all come together in order to teach each other a deeper understanding of self.

That’s one of the meanings behind the “It’s All About Me” approach.  So I ask you now:

What are you rejecting about yourself?

Let’s bring this all back onto the “It’s All About Me” approach.

Take what these men have said to you and write them down.  What ever they said that compelled you to email me the above statement, that is what I want you to see.

This is your “soul” attempting to show you what is standing in your way of feeling unconditional love.

This situation with these men has now become your GURU.

Write out what those men have been saying to you and see if you don’t actually do all of that to yourself.

Remember, we are the only people who hold onto the feeling of hurt.

Yes, people do stupid things that involve us.  Tragedies happen.  Life is sometimes unfair.

But, everything happens in the present moment.  Holding onto a feeling based on the events of the past is the real cause of our pain and suffering.

Now look into your mirror and say these magic words; “I’m sorry”.

Let it go; give yourself a hug.  Live in the here and now.

 

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8 Simple Steps to Improve Your Time Management

Whenever I look at the answers on the assessment forms people send me, I notice that most of us can’t seem to properly manage your time. (Get Your Assessment Form Here) 

The lack of time management results in experiencing many of the “problems” at home or at work.

We seem to fight the clock more often than not, as if we sense that we may be running out of time.

A number of steps can be taken to improve your time management.

1 – Know That You Have a Problem

I learned from AA that the first thing you have to do is admit that you have a problem.  I use that technique in all of my goal setting, and the work I do.  I identify the things I don’t enjoy first, because only then can a solution be found.

Think about the last couple of weeks.  How often were you running late?  How many things did you leave undone?  How many hours were spent on Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter, or watching TV? Matter of fact, how much time did you invest in sitting around feeling worried and discontent?

 2 – Decide To Change

I believe that most people are fact NOT victims of circumstance.

The result of my belief is the knowledge that we get to choose our actions in life.  The world operates in a dance of cause and effect, which begins at the level of thought in each and every one of us.

After you identify that you have a time management problem (or any problem for that matter) the next step is to cultivate the desire to change.  It’s not easy to change.  Although change seems to be the only constant in our Universe, our brains trigger a sense of fear in the face of change.

Building the desire for positive change in your life happens in one of two ways; either you move towards something or away from something.  Identify your motivational force, and then you can set goals for yourself.   Your goals will help provide you with a source of motivation.

3 – Stick to Your Goals

Setting goals isn’t enough; you need to stick with them.  That’s where vision boards, daily relaxation, and completing incremental tasks comes into play.

It’s been documented that creating a full vision of your “ideal life” may actually cause more harm than good if it’s not accompanied by the correct action.  In the movie “The Secret” it seems as if all you have to do is wish hard enough.  That’s just not the way it works.  You have to be relaxed, in the flow and taking action towards your goals (or away from something).  Otherwise, holding the vision of the “Perfect Day” will trigger a sense of defeat in you.

Sorry to break it to you, you can’t wish yourself thin, rich, and amazing.  You have to actually become those things first.

4 – Create Daily Task Lists

If you do nothing more than create a few “To do lists” for yourself then you’ll be well on your way to looking like someone who is a master of their own time/destiny.

When I write out my goal list I adopt several different techniques such as S.M.A.R.T., writing in present tense, and working from the end.  But, I don’t actually refer to my goal list as a “Goal List”; it’s my “To Do LIST!”

From my master “To Do List” (btw 180 and 200 goals), I periodically make a 30 day list, from the 30 day list I write down a weekly list.  Each night I write down from my weekly list “5 Things to do”.  I wake up the next morning and start with the first item and work on it until it’s finished.  I don’t always cross off all 5 tasks.  But adopting this method has proven to be the most effective way for me to not allow ADD to kick in.

5 – Rely On Time Management Tools

We all have the tools readily available to send us gentle reminders so that we can keep our schedules, and implement action that will lead to the realization of our personal goals.  Yeah…There’s an APP for that.  Find it.  Google calendar is simple to the point and will alert you to upcoming events and appointments.  Adopting the use of a calendar will allow you to logically choose the action steps to put on your “5 Things to do today” list.

 6 – Learn How to Say No

I work with and talk to a lot of ambitious, creative and amazing people.  The biggest challenge we share is the ability to say no to taking on new projects.  To offset this, I find it necessary to identify the goals and tasks I’ve chosen that are my priority.  When I take on new projects or get involved with new organizations I do so because my goals are aligned with taking on the new responsibility.

7 – Get Organized

I’ve learned recently that organization is pivotal to proper time management. Just the act of hanging my keys up next to the door has saved me countless hours over the past year.   If you are unorganized, you are likely to waste a large amount of time.

8 – Consider Outsourcing

 You may want to call on a professional house cleaner to clean and organize your home.  The hours saved will most likely be worth the cash invested in this service.

I am learning that many of the action steps on my “To do Lists” would be better handled by someone with specific skills in those areas (Web development, marketing, PR, etc.).  I’m certain that you too can find some areas of your “To do List” that can be delegated to someone else.

In addition to taking this approach, there are other professionals that you can target.  There are individuals and companies who specialize in teaching others how to effectively manage their time, stay organized, and create more joy and fulfillment in their own life.

One final note 

Time Management is actually a myth.

Time itself is relative.  What you will actually become is a Master of Self.

What you will manage is a combination of your thoughts/feeling and the actions you choose to take each day.

Time will march on, the beat you choose to march with it is up to you.

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